Human Park Minutes (Following “Dog Park Minutes”)

  1. It was agreed upon yesterday evening by the quorum-plus assemblage that members and accompanying two-legged human companions (although no human companions present propelled themselves on one or zero appendages, they would be most welcome nonetheless, as we have noticed that our human companions make note of one of our kind who propels herself aptly with three appendages, and even with that handicap we cannot retrieve our playthings from her) (and any human companion who arrives at the Human Park with tasty morsels in pocket is particularly welcome, followed by playthings, and for one of our members, a laser pointer light for chasing) were enjoying a bit of pleasant weather and that none of our numbers was reduced to ridicule for the donning of a tweed, fisherman knit, or waterproof article of apparel.
  2. It was also generally agreed upon by all members that the addition of the new human companions to the Human Park was most welcome. These first-time visiting human companions immediately engaged in conversation with the other human companions in attendance. It was noted that the well-documented interaction of a human pawshake, while considered among our ranks an activity of questionable value, satisfied the human companions, along with visible non-aggressive teeth showings. The human companions did not, however, offer each other edible treats, nor did any of them sit or roll over at any time. Also, while the new human companions were being welcomed, all members of our quorum-plus assemblage customarily performed the accepted ritual of sniff, and energetically and agreeably accepted the new member within our ranks.
  3. It was also agreed upon by all members that while our personal playthings in our own domiciles are enjoyable, it is far better to promote group activity and personal health and utilize only one, or perhaps two of these playthings offered during our daily post-dinner gatherings at the Human Park. Most importantly, all members unanimously affirmed that human companions would be best served if any playthings held in reserve during these late afternoon meetings were offered for their enjoyment. It was therefore agreed upon that each member temporarily would discharge their personal ownership of their plaything held in reserve for the duration of the time they choose to remain at the Human Park each evening, and offer that plaything to the human companions, so they may feel the warmth and inclusion of the human pack, and engage in liberating running, tumbling, and general physical activity. Members have noted that human companions display more non-aggressive teeth showings when at play. It is for the welfare of the human companions that our members have voluntarily and unselfishly agreed to offer whichever playthings the humans desire during each particular meeting.
  4. It was also noted by one member that his human companion consumes a healthy meal and sleeps most soundly after being fully engaged in physical activity and human conversation with his human pack while at the Human Park.
  5. It was reported that while the human companions tend to become significantly more vocal, using heightened tones and greater decibel-producing sounds, when those among our membership engage in activity in the water-retaining grass and earth area of the Human Park, we do not share their concerns, and have been known to ignore the remarks of said human companions. In fact, the human companions take great pains to avoid these bog-like areas, all the while maintaining clean paws, and clean paw coverings. Unlike the human companions, we find that these areas provide for numerous pleasant activities, such as the rolling in cool watery earth, the burial and retrieval of playthings in this watery earth, and the deep excavation of these geographic areas. In addition, these regions are replete with tasty morsels, and so as the human companions do not enjoy engaging in these areas, we accept their decision and will continue to participate, and actively engage each other in these areas, thereby keeping them for our ranks alone. We accept the human companions’ offering of these areas for our use, and thank them for their consideration and generosity. We consider their offering of these areas for our use to be a lovely gift in exchange for our offer of our playthings for their amusement and physical health. And finally on this matter, the human companions tend to engage in more vibrant and urgent conversation with each other when they witness our happiness in these watery earth areas of the Human Park, and we know that as they are in need of these conversations and connections with members of their own pack, it is a positive experience for all.
  6. It has been observed by multiple members of our group that human companions exhibit signs of stress when one of our playthings is missing. We are thrilled that they take responsibility for the playthings offered to them for their enjoyment, but we are in agreement that it would be best for all involved if they were to observe and practice the art of relaxation. We are resolved to act as role models, and in so doing the human companions may observe, and then emulate our behaviors. It was decided that we need to model key behaviors to help the human companions on their road to relaxation fulfillment, such as rolling in scented regions of the Human Park, and searching for the delectable treats left by students. No human companion would be stressed were they to come upon a gift of beef taco or ham sandwich; however, it is doubtful that any human companion would be able to find them as quickly as any within our membership. Still, if the human companions are up to the challenge, they are welcome to participate in this stress-reducing activity with us.
  7. All members agreed to meet each other and their accompanying human companions on the following afternoon/ early evening. They implored each other to request that their human companions provide savory snacks, to be transported in their pockets, and also to continue to provide playthings during these outings so that the human companions could have an outlet for conversation, exercise and non-aggressive teeth showings. After all, this is their park and their time to socialize.

This account was barked to, and translated by, Kathy Galgano

January 8, 2014

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