Mother Never Said Aging Was Graceful

Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome. (Unknown)

No wonder I’m so darned tired.

Note to self: When driving your elderly aunt to a doctor’s appointment, do not overshoot the one-way entrance drive. You might find yourself unable to turn into the second, or exit drive, and choose instead the third, which is really the entrance to a mortuary.

Words of wisdom from my Grandmother and me: Waste not, want not. A stitch in time saves nine. A bird in the hand is messy.

I contacted my high school, vainly in search of my vaccination records so I can volunteer at a health clinic. I was told that the school saves records for only fifty years, and it’s a good thing I called now.

How am I supposed to take an ample number of daily cool showers when we are experiencing a drought?

While driving, some women (ahem) apply lipstick when waiting at a red light. Some women (ahem) also grab a travel-sized container of baby powder conveniently placed in the second cup holder, directly behind the large iced-tea, and generously shake the powder down the front of their blouse to overcome the effects of yet another hot flash.

My car mechanic couldn’t understand why I wanted the air conditioner recharged in January.

Al Gore was wrong. I am the cause of global warming.

Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember all the times you have meddled in your friends’ business, all the times you encouraged them to spend their money, all the times you have played matchmaker, all the times you have told loved ones what to do, and realize that finally, with all that practice, you can continue with a vengeance and achieve success. (Me)